#1 Check Your Posture & SMILE
There are always going to be situations where your confidence might be a bit compromised and you need something that can change the way you feel instantly. Confidence comes from a place of power; if your shoulders are slumped over, if your face is just hanging around, chances are that your thoughts aren’t supporting your power. When you aren’t feeling your best, simply check and adjust your posture. Also, don’t forget to smile. Push yourself farther than you want to be and you’ll relax into where you’ll need to be. What I mean is, smiling really big for even a minute releases feel-good chemicals in your body. So before appearing anywhere you want to make a great impression, take a moment to smile really, REALLY big. It will feel awkward at first, but keep holding it and within a minute or two you’ll be feeling better and your face should have relaxed into a more natural and authentic smile. Where the body goes, the mind will follow and your soul will feel something. Use this simple idea to your advantage.
#2 Knowledge is Power
As I said before, confidence isn’t just about feeling good and feeling sexier, it’s also about feeling more capable. The more you know, the better. When people say that what you don’t know can’t hurt you, they’re right — what you don’t know can kill you! Okay, a bit dramatic. I cannot stress enough how much opening up your mind and expanding your knowledge can make you feel like a more powerful, capable, and confident person. It doesn’t matter what you read — articles, books, magazines — so long as whatever it is that you allow into your mind benefits you. As long as it teaches you something useful that you can apply to your own life. If you don’t like to read but find a long list of books you know you’d enjoy, you can try audio books. Audible.com lets you download your first one for free by going to Audible.com/MissJessica. For a list of books I recommend, watch this video.
#3 Ask & You Shall Receive
One of the most valuable things I ever learned from Tony Robbins is that the quality of the answers you get depends on the quality of the questions you are asking. Example, asking yourself, “Why doesn’t anyone love me?” or even telling yourself, “I’m not good enough,” will deliver you crappy results because you won’t be feeling good, and your brain wants to always be right so it will only find “evidence” that will support those crappy questions. Instead, ask yourself, “How would I behave if I felt really confident right now?” or a favorite of mine, “How would I behave if I knew something amazing was right around the corner and it’s all just for me?” That immediately gets your mind’s creative juices flowing to paint you a picture of confidence and give you a model to follow. Speaking of models to follow, although I’m not a big fan of role models, I am a fan of identifying great qualities in others and adopting them for yourself. If you’re in a tricky situation, ask yourself what the ideal version of yourself would do? Ask yourself “How would _insert name of person you admire and respect_ react?”
#4 Break the Spell
When you’re faced with a less than ideal scenario or personality, instead of getting so wrapped into it, pull yourself out of it and look at it from a detached perspective. Turn it into a game and “break the spell”. By spell I mean the state of the situation, someone’s mood, etc. Sometimes people are going to be rude and the easiest thing for us to do is respond back just as rude. As they say, you can’t fight fire with fire. Instead of getting so worked up and affected, find a way to make them laugh or smile. How people treat you has a lot more to do with how they feel about themselves rather than how they feel about you. Carrying this understanding around with you will help you create a bit of a protective bubble against negative outside influences. Remind yourself of this and that chances are maybe these people need a laugh, a smile. Maybe they need to be shown that not everyone’s out for their misery and that most importantly you aren’t. So make them laugh, pay them a compliment, be silly. Snap them out of it and in turn you’ll feel much better focusing on how to play and have fun rather than conspiring about how to put them in their place. Trust me, I’ve put a number of people “in their place” and in the end, it doesn’t change the face that the situation sucked. In retrospect, it probably would have been better for everyone if I was just playful and detached. Never underestimate the power of kindness.
#5 Bring the Light
Confident people are happy people. Don’t wait for happiness to find you, trust that you have the power to bring plenty on your own. Pay someone a compliment, make someone smile, make someone else’s day better/easier. In turn, you’ll feel good about being able to have a positive impact on someone else’s life. Just have fun! Life is short. Have dance breaks, find things to laugh about, and make things as enjoyable as you can. Often, taking the focus off of ourselves and putting it on helping someone else can snap us out of long funks and bad moods and feelings of doubt and insecurity. When your life becomes bigger than just you, that’s where all the magic happens. That’s what’s going to get you out of bed in the morning and ready for the day.
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